Mercy

I think I can identify entirely too much with Jonah. His whole demeanor was one of rebellious obedience. He fought that trip to Nineveh the entire way, from the calling to the time he waited under the leaf for the city to be consumed. He did what God told him to do, and he made sure God knew that he was only doing it for God's sake.

The amazing thing is that the people of Nineveh were convicted, in spite of Jonah. I can almost see and hear him spitting out his words of disdain throughout the city, about how the people were doomed to destruction because they were so horrible. "Your destruction is coming, and good riddance. God finally wised up, and you are so gonna get it now. Oh, and by the way, He might change His mind, if you repent, but don't count on it, 'cause you don't deserve it."

And then he goes and sits under his leaf, and thinks, "This is gonna be good. OK, God. I get it. You brought me here for a good show, and they totally deserve it! Sorry I was so disagreeable earlier -- I wouldn't want to miss this! Wipe 'em out Egyptian style!"

I struggle with rebellious obedience. Yeah, I do what God says, but often under duress. OK, GOD, I'LL DO IT, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA, AND IT IS NOT HOW I THINK THINGS SHOULD BE DONE. WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOW YOUR MIGHT AND GET ON WITH IT? BUT SINCE YOU ARE GOD, I GUESS I WILL DO IT YOUR WAY THIS TIME. BUT I HAD BETTER SEE SOMETHING GOOD COME OUT OF IT!

How incredibly arrogant; how wretched I am. As if I have a clue about what is happening in my own world, much less anything bigger. Only the King of the Universe, the Creator all things, knows the complexities of the human condition.

And amazingly, redemption still occurs, in spite of it all.

Holy Father, forgive me for my arrogance and my blatant disregard for others. Build love within me, that I may not be critical, but instead merciful. Teach me to be merciful. Let Your Kingdom continue to spread, in spite of my best efforts and my worst failures. Your gift of love is beyond my comprehension -- thank You, Lord Jesus, for Your sacrifice of mercy. Holy Spirit, live within me that I may grow to be a daughter of willing obedience and full discipleship, showing the mercy I have been given. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, Amen.

Image courtesy of http://www.stonesoupmusic.org/soup_art3.htm and http://www.christiancollages.com.

Discipline and Discipleship

Discipleship is hard.

We know that Jonah struggled with it, since God had to chase him down in a rather dramatic fashion. God called him twice, and the second time he answered. Peter, Andrew, James, and John answered the first call, when Jesus came 'round and beckoned them to follow, but I seriously doubt they found discipleship to be easy.

I suppose that if discipleship were easy, there would be no need for discipline. If I decide to follow Jesus for today only, then why bother with discipline? But if my decision is to follow Him every day, then that requires more effort. I wonder how many times Peter, Andrew, James, and John thought about going back to the security of their nets.

Discipline seems to be one of the keys to discipleship. Daily, I put my face to the ground and I pray for the strength and humility needed to follow Jesus. Daily, I must decide to work on my relationship with God. And as I pray for humility, God answers my prayer and humbles me, usually gently, but never without pain. I often find myself swallowed whole, like Jonah, because of my lack of discipline. And when I am swallowed whole, I discover that my only chance of escape is: discipline.

Paul tells the Corinthians that time is short; he is right, because it will take a long time to learn to live a life of discipline, to gain the courage to be a disciple. Frankly, I need as much time as I can get to learn how to do it.

So I will pray, I will fast, I will give and serve, I will keep silence, and I will learn and grow. I will follow Jesus, going where He leads, no matter what the cost. Otherwise, I may as well return to the nets, or allow myself to be digested, and what kind of life is that?

"The spiritual life is first of all a life. It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived." -Thomas Merton, from "Thoughts in Solitude"

Following...

"Come, follow me..."

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.

Called to Relationship

As I have read and studied these passages this week, I am struck by the calling. Clearly, all four passages relate to being called in some fashion. What strikes me is that in all four passages, the calling is the same. In all of these scriptures, the calling is to relationship with God.

"Speak, for your servant is listening." Samuel, young as he was, did not know the voice of God. Three times he made the mistake of thinking Eli was calling him (I am not certain Eli knew the voice of God either). I have always thought that in this passage Samuel was being called into the Lord's service; however, God did not give Samuel anything to do. Instead, God tells Samuel about His plans. He talks with Samuel, and even vents some of His frustration about Eli. Samuel has been called into a relationship.

Being called into relationship really makes sense in the Psalm passage. The Psalmist speaks of being known on a deeply intimate level, which frankly would be difficult without a relationship. To be known so well without relationship would be horrible; the result would be an Orwellian kind of hell. Yet that is not at all what the Psalmist describes, because he speaks of the give and take of relationship, both being known and knowing the thoughts of God, as in verse 17: How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast the sum of them!

John likewise talks about relationship. Nathanael has jumped to conclusions about Jesus, but Phillip invites him to set his assumptions aside and find out first hand who Jesus is. Nathanael is invited into relationship, and he accepts the offer to find out the truth for himself rather than operate on assumptions. He immediately finds out that his assumptions were wrong. Hmmmm -- how often does that happen?

The Corinthians seem to have missed this whole idea of relationship altogether. The attitude of 'doing what I want to do when I want to do it' makes for unhealthy relationships. Instead, if a relationship with God is fostered, then food or sex or [insert your favorite vice here] becomes a way to honor God, and improve your relationship with Him. The spiritual disciplines are evidence of this.

We are all called to a relationship, not to anything less. Praise be to God.

Who Am I?

Who Am I? by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me I stepped from my cell’s confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune equally, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, tossing in expectation of great events, powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!

March 4,1946

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a young theologian of great promise, was hanged on April 9, 1945, by the Nazis for his participation in a plot against the life of Adolf Hitler. He was 39 years old. His last act was to lead and share in a liturgy of com-munion with his fellow prisoners. His last words were: "This is the end, for me the beginning of life."

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.

Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18

Worship Ideas for this Sunday

GATHERED TO WORSHIP
Call to Worship:

Praise the Lord! O Heavens
All Creatures of Our God and King

Scripture Reading: Genesis 1:1-5

Here I Am to Worship
Shine, Jesus, Shine

Prayer: Christ, You have been made manifest as the true light of God. Let Your Spirit live in us; fill our hearts with the joy of your glory; call us by name on the great day of Your coming; give us grace to offer unending praise with all of heaven to the Father in whom all things find their ending, now and forever. Amen. (adapted from Praise God: Common Prayer at Taizé)

Scripture Reading: Mark 1:4-11

What the Lord Has Done In Me

GATHERED TO HEAR THE WORD
Prayer of Illumination: Guide us, O God, by your Word and Spirit, that in your light we may see light, in your truth find freedom, and in your will discover your peace. Open our minds, that as the Scriptures are read and your Word is proclaimed, we may be led into your truth and taught your will, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Scripture Reading: Acts 19:1-7

Service of the Word

Grace Like Rain

RESPONSE TO THE WORD
Prayer of Confession and Assurance of Pardon: Healing Grace

Offertory:
Doxology

Gathered at the Table:
Prayer of Consecration

SENT OUT TO SERVE
Scripture Reading: Psalm 29

Heaven Torn Open

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased."

It is interesting that the heavens were torn open at the beginning of Jesus' ministry, and not at His birth. Instead, at His baptism, God very publicly affirms the identity of Jesus with the heavens being torn open, the voice from heaven, and the Holy Spirit descending. Later, we are told that the veil of the temple was torn from top to bottom when when He died (Mark 15:38). The separation between God and man opened twice in the New Testament: once when Jesus began His ministry, and again when He finished it. So it was not Jesus' birth that made the biggest God-impact on this world, but His re-birth.

And we know from Acts 19:1-7 that the same is true for us:
And it happened that while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul ... came to Ephesus. There he found some disciples. And he said to them, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?" And they said, "No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit." And he said, "Into what then were you baptized?" They said, "Into John’s baptism." And Paul said, "John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in the one who was to come after him, that is, Jesus." On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. And when Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began speaking in tongues and prophesying....

Praise be to God.